from by Melancholy Holly

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Self-loathing is something that has become far too familiar for me. I can’t be proud of myself for more than five minutes without hating myself afterwards and doubting everything I’ve ever done. I put myself out there and get no reception and it fucking hurts. It felt like a punch in the gut when I realized I overestimated our relationship, and that you don’t actually care about me. You see me as nothing more than another face, and I don’t blame you. I blame myself for being so blind.


I don't want to sit here on my own
I don't really want my lonely throne
I don't want to stay here anymore than I have to
I don't really know how to feel about you

Please don't blame yourself for how I treated you
I just really want someone to sing this to
Though it may seem a little strange
I'm only looking out for you

I don't want to make music anymore
I don't want to know me anymore

I don't know when I started feeling this way
I just know that this feeling is here to stay

I tell myself everyday that its just in my head
I can't fight this feeling that I'd rather be dead
Every day now that I lay my head to rest
I pray to God that it's the last time I go to bed


from The Cathartic EP, released September 17, 2016



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Cold War Veteran California

I just make some shitty music with what I can afford

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